


Only Touch Me When I Let You

by TheLastOfJediKnights



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Confessions, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Kanera Trope-Athon, Love Confessions, Making Out, Tropes, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-12
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 00:40:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10888281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLastOfJediKnights/pseuds/TheLastOfJediKnights
Summary: Kanan was in love with his Captain. It was a problem.





	Only Touch Me When I Let You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Kanera Fic-A-Thon](https://kanera-ficathon.tumblr.com/), using the _Shippy (or not) Prompt: First Time for [you choose]_
> 
> So this is...first time kissing? It was supposed to be first time touching, because...lekku, guys. I just love fics abour lekku. But I didn't want this to be smut, I have other ones in mind for that....so you get this. 
> 
> Title from the english lyrics of the song ["Killer Lady"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CH0AbaQRvcQ)

Kanan would never be a good Jedi.

If the Jedi had survived....if he had completed his training...if he hadn't been left on the streets of Plateau City... maybe he would've been. 

But it hadn't worked out that way and Kanan was not a good Jedi. 

He was a reformed drunk, a thief and a smuggler, who had given up on everything the day the clones had turned on him. He had lusted, slept with many, many people, fought with so many more, ignored so much injustice. Probably the only part of the Code he hadn't broken was the part on attachment. He had jumped from planet to planet. No attachments. 

Until now. 

His eyes traced the line of Hera's lekku as she leant over the console. 

He was leaning against the wall, arms folded as she turned towards him. She raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you?" she asked in her wonderfully deep voice. 

He couldn't help a chuckle. "I was going to ask you the same thing." 

Her eyebrow arched ever higher and she stepped around him. "Just go make sure Ezra and Zeb don't kill each other." 

He pouted as the door slid shut behind her. Chopper laughed at him in a cacophony of beeps and whistles. Kanan's face twitched in response. There it was. That itch in his hands again. That desire, the need to touch her, to kiss her. 

He  _wanted_ her. 

Kanan sighed, stood up straight, and ran a hand through his hair. 

The good thing about returning to his Jedi training? He could meditate away his troubles. 

 

-

 

He breathed in deeply. And with his exhale, he released all his anxieties into the Force. He reached out through the Force, his mind touching briefly against Ezra, whom he had ordered to help Sabine sort out their new cargo, a task Ezra was all too happy to help with. Through their bond, Ezra sent back a burst of contentment, before retreating from their bond sheepishly. Kanan smiled to himself. Every day Ezra was becoming more and more comfortable with their make-shift family. 

Kanan had never thought he'd be in this kind of situation. The master-padawan bond at the back of his mind, barely noticeable until he focused on it, but always there. He was a Master now. He was Ezra's master. 

Guilt overwhelmed him for a second. Ezra deserved better than a master who had had only a few months of padawan training. How could he lecture Ezra when he hadn't had the lectures himself? How could he pretend to be a Jedi? Why did he continue the charade? 

And then he breathed out and released those thoughts as well. 

He turned his mind back to his most pressing troubles. 

Hera. 

When he'd met her, he'd fallen for her voice. He'd fallen for her voice, but, honestly, it had been, at first, only sexual for him. She was attractive. Force, she was attractive.  That had been the start of it. He'd let her drag him around Gorse, let her draw out those parts of him he thought he'd buried, because she was attractive. She'd been attractive and he'd been lustful. But then... she'd gotten under his skin. _She_ was why he was here. She had inspired in him the spirit of rebellion he'd kept tampered down, she gave him courage to be the person he'd wanted to be, the person he thought he'd never be again.  

The Jedi part of him whispered that the Force had pushed the two of them together. Hera was the Force's way of getting him off his ass and back in the game. 

He exhaled and let go of that thought. 

The brawler part of his mind chastised him. Meditating might help him organise his mind, but it wouldn't solve his problems for him. 

Neither would alcohol. 

He had to actually....face this problem.  

He was in love with his captain. 

Hera was beautiful, it was true. But she was also brave, and fearless, and ridiculously selfless to the point of being stupid. She was the best pilot he'd ever seen, and she was a leader, even if she let him take the role among their little group. And she was wise, and kind, and her eyes had a twinkle in them- 

And he was in love with her. 

Love. 

The Jedi had never taught him about that.

It was bad. Attachment was bad. Attachment led to fear, fear to anger, anger to the Dark Side. That had been drilled into him from day one. 

Kanan was a bad Jedi. 

He was attached. He was attached to Hera. To Ezra. To Zeb and Sabine. Kriff, even Chopper. He had found his place in the galaxy. 

And now he wanted to screw it up because his feelings - the one he had trained his first fourteen years to suppress- were getting in the way.

He opened his eyes and sighed to himself, looking down at his hands. He examined them for a second, the callouses from the work in all the mines and all those fights. They weren't Jedi hands. 

The door slid open. 

He blinked up at Hera, who slid onto the seat on the opposite side of his room and looked back at him suspiciously. 

"You do know this is my room, right?" Kanan asked. 

"What?" 

"You look like I've done something wrong." He pointedly looks around. "Pretty sure this is my room."

"You're not in trouble." 

"That's a first." He shot her one of his charming smiles. 

Hera dodged the smile by hugging her legs to her chest. 

A shield, Kanan realised. "Are you sure I'm not in trouble?" 

"We should talk," she stubbornly told the wall beside his head. 

Kanan shifted his own position, crossing his legs. "Should we?" 

She gave him a sardonic look. "Yes." She nodded to herself. "This isn't working."

Panic. How had she- Why  _now?_

A thousand questions. 

"No," he said finally. "I guess not." 

She nodded again and stood up, beginning to pace his small room. "Right." She tugged on the bottom of her lek. Then she sighed and leant against his wall. "So...what do we do?" 

Kanan opened his mouth and shut it. "I don't know." He felt hollow inside. He thought he'd covered his feelings well but...she knew. She always knew. 

She slid onto the seat next to him and smiled gently, carefully. "I can think of one thing," she began softly. She reached out, running a finger through some lose curls before she cupped the side of his head and drew him closer to her. 

There was a second of pause. Then she leant in and pressed her lips to his. 

His eyes widened in shock and she drew away, a coy smile on her face. 

Which slid away the moment she saw his expression. 

She jumped up, away from him. 

He followed her movements dumbly. "You kissed me." 

Hera stared at him. "I....I thought..." 

He tilted his head, trying to get his brain to work again. Then a grin spread across his face. "I knew you liked me," he said triumphantly, standing up to meet her, reaching out and resting his hands on her hips so he could pull her close, bodies sliding close together like it had in so many hugs, but this was so much more. This meant so much more. 

His grin widened as he looked down at her. "Does this mean you  _really_ like me?" he teased. 

Hera opened her mouth and shut it, before burying her head in his chest. "I thought you knew." 

"Not a clue," he admitted easily, warmth spreading through his body. Hera liked him too. 

Her lekku brushed against his arm and he felt a sense of mischievous glee. Carefully, slowly, he lifted a hand and ran his fingertips down her lek. She shivered into his touch with the smallest of moans, pushing her body into his almost without control. He leant down and kissed her again, properly, his tongue pushing into her mouth as his fingers continued to explore the sensitive skin of her lek, delighting in every noise and movement she made in response, the way she tried to lead him back against the bed. 

They broke apart panting, but Kanan immediately shifted to claim the skin on her neck, forehead bumping against her googles as he trailed kisses along that small, small shine of skin that wasn't covered by the heavy pilot suit. He breathed in her scent and made a small noise as her hands reached into his hair, toying with the hair bunched into his ponytail and cupping the back of his neck to pull him into another ferocious kiss. 

"So," she asked finally, voice low, drowned in her arousal. "Shall we move to the bed?" 

He pulled back to look her seriously in the eyes and cleared his throat. "I don't have sex on the first date," he told her firmly, and then side-stepped around her with a cheeky smile. 

Her eyes darkened at him. "What?" Her lips were swollen and her breathing strained. 

He shrugged casually. "I'm a classy guy."

She scowled at him. "The first time we met-" 

"Well, I was only after you for sex then," he reminded her. "If we're starting a relationship, we should start it right." He hesitated, worried he'd pushed the limits. "We are in a relationship now, right?" 

She folded her arms at him. "Yes," she confirmed in a strained voice. 

"Then you'll have to buy me dinner first," he said happily before turning around and strolling out of his room, whistling. 

 

\--

Hera frowned at the door that Kanan had sauntered out of. 

Oh, it was on. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And then they go on a date and Hera claims that she doesn't have sex until the fifth date and then they have another four dates, each date getting more and more handsy, and both of them more and more sexually frustrated, and then Kanan claims that his Jedi training has strict rules that he only just remembered and so they can't have sex till she proves herself or goes on some one week meditation course or whatever and then Hera comes up with some Twi'Lek ritual where he has to wrestle some wildlife or something, and they end up not having sex for months until one day they have a fight in some secluded part of the ship and while they're yelling at each other they end up making out and have sex. The End. 
> 
>  
> 
> [ ~I'm on Tumblr~](https://thelastofjediknights.tumblr.com/)


End file.
